Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tremors 4: Search for Marian

Our adventures found us down in the ruins of some jungle temple, as we’ve been for what feels like the past two years or so. I’ll tell you, just once I’d like to get lost in a place that’s had some decent interior decorating, you know? As much as the spattered blood has kind of a fung shui effect, it’s a little grim for my tastes in wall adornment. Although according to Bolt’s knowledge of nobility, we did find a rare, valuable rug that had belonged to King Dre himself, dating back to the 3rd century after the Sundering. That’s actually a lie, Bolt’s knowledge of nobility has never proven useful.

So we continued our search to find Marian, someone Bolt refers to as “Shoog,” apparently an inside joke he shares only with himself. So far we’ve fought an irritated ent, some raving smurfs and a bunch of other evil guys who hissed at us about sacrifices. We did find a nice fountain, which Malak promptly soiled, but we’ve been down in the bowels of this place for so long, I’m beginning to forget what it even looks like aboveground. In other words, this chick better be worth it.

We promptly faced off with five minions of whatever foul beast rules this craphole. Anca, Lotheryn’s wolf, who has warmed to me somewhat in the last few days (I attribute it to the Snausages, the remainder of which have gone missing – I noticed Malak had some awfully greasy hands this morning), proved himself very useful as he finished off a couple of them himself. Amaryllis was quite the acrobat, bobbing and weaving her way in between enemies, backstabbing here and there. It was a drawn out affair, but we managed to quell the resistance without much issue.

We made our way down another hall, and turned a corner only to find the craziest looking snake thing I’d ever seen. “Where’s Kevin Bacon when you need him,” I muttered. Well, crazy or not, it was up to us to do something about this thing. Moonglum quickly noticed that there were frightened, bound prisoners throughout the room and surmised that we were probably just in time to witness the beast perform its sacrificial duties. Having run out of popcorn several dungeons ago, we decided that spectating was not a palatable option at this point. We rushed in headlong to the battle.

We took our usual positions, brawn up front, brains in the back. Ieuan started us off nicely by hitting the creature with her ray of enfeeblement. “I’ve got your cartoon balloons right here!” she yelled pithily. Bolt activated his Wonder Twin power, form of PWNAGE and started beating the thing like nobody’s business. For all its size and ugliness, the mass of snakes didn’t put up much of a fight. We were able to fell the monster before it had time to poison us or eat any of its captives. It had some nice loot, and I have to say I coveted some armor it dropped, but I let Amaryllis take it since I’m such a nice guy.

We found Marian and returned her to her uncle. We were rewarded handsomely, although after that nightmare of a journey, I can’t say I’ll bring much of it home if I find a decent tavern around here. We also noticed that our experiences had once again enriched our skills. I can only hope this leads to more hand waving and colorful emanations from our gnomish wizard, who delites in such things. While the womenfolk went off with Malak to get their nails done, and Moonglum to find some new scrolls, Bolt and I found a local watering hole to drown our aches and pains. As we sat there recounting our travels, I finally asked the question that had been burning in my mind since our battle, hoping he could provide an answer.

“What the hell do cartoon balloons have to do with anything?”

4 comments:

Taran said...

Yes, I do know how to spell "Suge" just in case anyone questions my knowledge of G's. It was an untrained check knowledge of G's check.

Taran said...

Uhhh scratch the first check in that comment.

Moonglum said...

I can just see Malak going back and forth between owning a tremor and stuffing Snausages down his gullet. Good times.

Lord Bolt said...

HE WANTS TO GO TO VEEENUS!!!!!