Well, it’s not the ideal situation, but I think I could get used to these guys. Despite our struggles with the kobolds in the mine, I decided to give this little band a try. There are some business reasons (a chance to kill more orcs) and some personal reasons (did I mention this druid…), and overall, it just seems like a group that can get things done. There are some quirks, but it’s not a bad lot for all that.
Our travels took us to some podunk village called Greywhistle or Gargamel or some such thing. Apparently the village has been plagued by raiding parties from the nearby mountains. “I’ll bet it was orcs,” I thought as we learned the particulars. The chance to slay those dumb beasts was enough for me, but the promise of a pile of cash doesn’t hurt either. Bolt claimed that the reward money wasn’t important and feigned interest in punishing these evildoers for their crimes against the town, but as I understand it, his “rock” business is struggling and he could use the gold. Seems he’s been sniffing into his profits.
So we soon found ourselves in the corridors of a mountain fortress. This one didn’t hold quite as many surprises as the last one did, thanks mainly to our rogue, Amaryllis, who is quite adept at finding and disabling any traps that might be waiting for us. It is certainly not thanks to our gnome, whose main contribution was letting us know that the fortress walls were indeed made of stone. It's odd that he was able to stay so silent during our last adventure. Also, Bolt’s knowledge of nobility and royalty brought us the invaluable information that the doors were, in fact, made of wood.
We quickly dispatched some kobolds and goblins, one of which was searching for some sort of document. One of them shouted something about being a monkey, so I put an arrow in his eye to let him know that I didn't appreciate him insulting monkeys like that. We also managed to take down an orc, which I didn’t even get a chance to hit. But hey, a dead orc’s a good orc, as I always say. Bolt proved himself quite useful as he slew foe after foe.
We met with some stronger resistance, especially from a harpy who managed to enchant me for a time. The experience wasn’t at all unpleasant, until she whacked me in the ribs with her bone club. The group managed to dispatch the harpy and moved on to its toughest challenge.
We knew something was up the minute we entered the room. We saw four coffins (three intact) and a dead orc lying on an altar with a red crystal glowing behind it. “Hey guys, there are coffins and an altar in here!” Moonglum shouted helpfully. After finding a few nice items from the broken coffin, we examined the altar and the crystal. “Rock PRETTY” declared Malak with a sense of wonderment. Then all hell broke loose.
The orc decided that he wasn’t really dead and got up to start pounding people. If there’s one thing I hate worse than live orcs, it’s undead orcs. Skeletons started popping up left and right on top of the three remaining coffins. I finally got a chance to show what I could do with Rage as I bashed those decalcified undead minions with unequaled aplomb. Malak used his brute strength to smash the coffins. Lotheryn managed to keep us going as we took hit after hit from that mysterious crystal. The gnome, who, despite his new title as Captain Obvious, is actually quite adept at the arcane arts, took enough damage to send him into the fetal position, but Lotheryn healed him up enough to keep going. Ieuan played some beautiful music to give us confidence, and finally Bolt was able to smash the crystal (which he pocketed, of course).
Throughout our adventuring, we found some pretty nice stuff. I got a nice enhancement for Rage, and Amaryllis got a nice cloak, as well as some tools to help her with her pilfering. We found some health potions, some Nike Air Max boots, which Bolt is putting to good use, and some additions to our armor. It was a valuable experience, and I think it made us all stronger. When we encountered the minotaur who seems to be one of the major players in this whole fiasco, we sent him to his death with relative ease.
It was clear that the minotaur wasn’t the brains behind the operation, so our job isn’t quite done yet. But after such a run of victories, I’m confident we can handle anything that comes our way. I’ll bet even a dragon couldn’t stop us now.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
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Lord Bolt's account of things, as told to a young brother...
I got back from my adventures a little while ago in the town of Greatforge, or Griffindor, or Griffin Ford, Lincoln, and Mercury, or whatever. It went "aight," as the young bucks say. I met up with six people whom I had never met before, although they insisted they had been with me that time I messed around and got a triple-double up at Grant's Pass last week... I don't really know anything about that, but when you go through life running 30 miles per hour, things tend to blur into one another. Anyway, so these six cats (actually one cat and six humans, and even that cat was actually a wolf) let me know that there was some type of disturbance in the town and they thought Orcs were responsible, at the mention of which one of them got all excited and started waving around his flail like he meant to handle business on the spot. I took up my usual spot in the front of the row next to this barbarian who had the sense to stay quiet (or he couldn't read, one of the two) and got busy on these Nz.
First off I decided to let everybody know that Lord Bolt doesn't play games, and I announced the heritage of the door (your basic Griffinford door) on some real talk: Knowledge-of-Nobility-style. Of course, all six brothers (there were a couple sisters) let me know they had read the signs that said "Griffinford," and they already knew what I could have told them eyes closed. But I was like look, my knowledge is my knowledge, you know? It doesn't matter whether you know it or not! damn!
Anyway one thing led to another, and I ended up having to put my shoe on about six or seven goblins, undead Orcs, kobolds, and in one case a winged woman who obviously had trouble keeping a man around, generally all of them for nothing more than General Principle. I'm not sure who the leaders of our group even were, nor even if they had a good idea of what we were doing there, but the end result was I jacked a treasure chest for its kicks (Nikes, proving globalization is NOT a myth), i pocketed some red shards and affixed them to my sword, and I bought some new Underarmour apparel so as to raise my Protect This House Rating to a cool 20.
There was a moment of general panic when the gnome ate it... things got a little hot in the altar room and the altar itself starting trying to put a searing ray of red through anybody who got in its way. (coincidentally, I was standing right in front of the thing and it never shot me... thus proving game recognize game, but that's another story.) Fortunately one of the elves in the crew stepped in a timely manner.
That's basically the deal. You may ask "Lord Bolt, I thought you were a holy knight. Where is your concern for the poor, the oppressed, the unfortunate?" And to that I say son, my game is holy because there's no other word for it. Besides, don't talk to me about oppression. Damn.
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